house arrest wouldn’t even be a punishment for me
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MA THE CHOCOLATE MANS BACK. MA HE BROUGHT AN INSTRUMENT FOR US
OMGGGGGGG
Holy--
the wretched abomination known as the minotaur has discovered some chalk
La-HA! hit me like a fucking drug.
WAIT THIS IS A REAL PLACE????????!
guys i have BEEN to this restaurant and i just want to let you know that when you order and say like “i am grounded” the waiters have to reply “ok, you are grounded.”
THERE'S A SEQUEL!
MR. NOODLE
The adventure continues!
Awesome dad is awesome.
Hopefully the mother will get used to it
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
it’s crazy when the protagonist and antagonist are character foils
we hate each other but you make me who i am
we are morally / philosophically / ideologically opposed but also fundamentally similar in ways that create a unique connection between us
and the most devastating of all: we are actually the same person except one of us is the photonegative. two sides of the same coin
Rob Woodcox artist
Here for the queer, BIPOC and Mother Nature
México | NYC | LA
nothing like stepping outside while the seasons are changing and suddenly feeling a change in the weather that knocks you back in time by several years
sorry professor I'm going to have to miss class today bc when I walked outside in the morning it was cold and sunny in a very specific way and suddenly I was struck with a nostalgia for years past so vivid and potent that I had to sit down
gardenssnails